A Standing O

I had a delightful Mother's Day.  I told my husband and the boys that all I wanted for Mother's Day was for each of them to write a poem (and of course a really good meal out). Their poems were great! An excerpt from one...

"Thank you, Mom, for being the bomb         

And for 17 years showing me right from wrong

For helping me out whenever you are able

And for not making us sit at the dinner table...."   

Ahhh, I've taught them well.

I've been thinking about my role a lot today.  And I wondered, have you had this experience? You're having a conversation with others about parenting, life, etc. And someone says to you that they cannot imagine how you do what you do. Cannot imagine the life adjustments, the constant monitoring, the scanning of the horizon for new treatments.  And, I suspect they also cannot imagine the 'dreams deferred' as Cesare likes to quote from Langston Hughes. If you are like me, you say that you do what you need to do...what else is there?  Perhaps you add that he or she would do the same if dealt the same cards.  And you mean it.  

But what if we really let ourselves take that in?  What if we acknowledge that what we do, on any given day, is herculean.  We measure out the daily meds, we fight the school district, we maintain a measured calm when medical crises unfold before our eyes, we struggle to be fair to each of our kids when there is nothing fair at all about having a disability.  We hold down the fort and perhaps a job as well.  We might be trying to maintain a relationship and, god help us, a waist line.  And we are awesome. Not just today, on Mother's Day or on Father's Day, but every day.  We don't acknowledge that what we do is akin to being a superhero. To do so would make it seem as though our children are burdens, a hardship.  I say, let's shake that all off. Let's admit, if only to ourselves that we are walking and talking love machines.  We put it into everything we do.  We fall down, we screw up, but we get right back up and make it all happen.  Every day.  Give yourself a hand.  In fact, give yourself a standing ovation.  We, every one of us, deserves it.