Mere days to go before my twin young men are high school graduates. Days. And how is that going? I am pushing, pulling, cajoling, threatening and bargaining with them both to complete their last assignments and, for Griffin, to finish in the black. My sweet, talented, smart young man is dragging his heels. And I am turning gray(er).
I hope the fact that I look like I'm in jail in no way detracts from the theme of this post.
When I get together with friends, we talk about what we are reading, how we are feeling and maybe the world in general. But our identity as moms is front and center. Parenting and our angst about our children is the universal bond among women with kids.
I broke away for the weekend with no guilt. I know better. I need to get a break, I deserve a break and I crave the silence. Do you know I had not been to a museum in 17 years without worrying if Cesare would get lost? Speeding through at a children-in-tow pace? This visit I languished at the Andrew Wyeth exhibit. I strolled through the streets and sat for a spell to listen to a young Mexican man, built like a linebacker, who played the most sorrowful cello. Never quite content with being quite content I started to think about what it would be like in a few months when Griffin is at college. While I am pushing and pulling Griff through to the finish line it does not escape me that these very actions are ushering him out the door. Off to college. Away from me, away from our quartet. I suspect that the quiet, the strolling, the slower pace may become the rule, not the exception.
I don't know if Cesare's worst years, medically, are behind him. But, funny thing about living a life of crises, medical emergencies and contingency plans: I don't really know how to do anything else. I will learn to embrace the comparative quiet and the blessing of time on my hands. I won't have to go on the lamb to find respite. But I'll make time to run away anyway. Now and then.
So glad you got away, it is such a challenging time!
ReplyDeleteYou go girl!
janice
Thanks Janice. Traveled by bus, of all things. Even that felt like a vacation.
DeleteWell deserved break! It got my thinking, what am going to do when D goes off to college? Probably pace around the house like a mad woman haha. Congrats on your trip! Paola
ReplyDeleteI'd like to hear more about your young man, Paola. When does he get his wings?
DeleteHe is class of 2016. Two years to go. I have a short list of colleges, LOCAL, colleges, luckily we have very good ones close by here in Virginia. If he decides to go out of state, I would prob loose my mind lol! I am "brain washing" him into going to James Madison University or Virginia Tech. Ultimately it is his decision but I am doing my motherly duty to advice, I figure after he is gone, my advice would be of little consequence then. he wants to become an Engineer, although I think that may be overly ambitious, he is determined to prove me wrong. He is now in the robotics club, and has two engineering classes next year (geospatial technologies and Engineering drawing). His Technical Drawing teacher has become his mentor, and if I could kiss his feet I would!!!! I am so grateful for that man's guidance, he has made a difference in Dylan's life. He knows what he wants and that is half the battle. I will take everything one day at the time. I am switching gears to let him be more independent. I started today. He needs this and I do too. For now, I will kiss him good night one more time. Tomorrow the new phase begins. I will need a new hobby.
ReplyDeletePaola, so good to learn more about Dylan. You've taught him to be strong and look forward. You'll let him go, he'll blossom. I hope you'll provide updates along the way.
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