We'll share this one.

In no way was I prepared to celebrate my twins' 18th birthday today.  It is so large, so inconceivable. While 18 means so much in our culture, it signifies so much more for us.  The first thought that occurs to me, is "We made it!".  I survived parenting twins, and we all survived pediatric epilepsy.  I could ruminate on all that that means, but I choose to just be thankful today.  Gratitude is itself a gift.  If we can hold on to some semblance of appreciation for...anything- then life, no matter how intense, is lighter and sweeter.

And so as I rejoice in my guys and their big day, I am also celebrating my givingbirthday.  I may celebrate quietly and to myself, but today is my big day.  The most significant day of my life, 18 years ago.  

Griffin came home from college and found us all thrilled to be in his company.  It has been a difficult, scary week.  Cesare's seizures have, after several years of being pesky but predictable, taken off on a whole new path.  His seizures are clustering and won't stop easily.  He's taken a couple of good falls, too.  We went to see his doc at NYU and have decided to accelerate the process to explore his candidacy for the new RNS surgery.  It's time.  

But we won't speak of that this weekend.  It is our big day, the biggest of days.

I Was Waiting for You

Nick Urata